the plan...

about four years ago, i graduated from high school. life was planned. go to this university. get this degree. live this life. i had everything mapped out perfectly. everything was in order and made sense.

had i stuck with the plan, i would have graduated from college today.

but sometimes, life throws you curveballs, and the plan...well...it goes to hell. but you know what? the me that sits here tonight writing this, thinks that's okay.

2500 miles and a few years separate the girl that had everything planned, and me. that girl stuck with what she knew. she was smart and funny, and beautiful...but she needed to escape...to explore something different. she was scared, but sometimes, you just have to close your eyes and jump in with both feet.

the journey has been strange. funny. hard. and a million other adjectives. and even the "plan" for the journey has taken detour upon detour.

today, i could have been standing with the class of 2010, receiving my degree. crying bittersweet tears, my mom snapping too many pictures, my family cheering me on. instead, i spent it sweating at a music festival. lyrics and guitars filling my ears. that concert smell wafting all around me. people pressing in from all sides, drinking and dancing, dying to be that much closer to the stage, to hear just that one song. and it hit me. today, i wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

sometimes you have to forge new ground. experience life...good. bad. easy. hard. you have to make choices, and live with them.

tonight, i stood in one of the biggest crowds i'd ever been in, eddie vedder singing better man. half a million people listening to what i listened to. and i knew i was right where i was supposed to be. it may not be the typical path, but it's leading to the perfect destination.

four years ago, i had a plan to stick to. going through the motions to get to the end. today, i've learned to let go a little. i've found what makes me tick. it's not glamorous or easy or typical. but it's my life. and i wouldn't change a thing.

mom and dad, i promise i'll get there. <3>